Sadness.

Everyone knows that I hate Thanksgiving and Christmas.

"What!? How could you?" They ask.

But no one knows.

Thanksgiving and Christmas used to be great. Since I was 15, I had a boyfriend's family that had adopted me and I was with them now. I never did anything with my own. I don't really have a family.

And now I'm alone this year..again.

Last Thanksgiving I remember getting Chinese food and eating alone and setting a aplate for Sadie at the table. And we ate together. I'll do that again this year.

And then Christmas. When it's snowing. And everyone else is with their family opening presents with smiling faces, I'll be sleeping in. Empty house. No laughter. Just silence and never ending loneliness.

No one knows this. This is why I am the person I am.

I don't let myself get close to people. I guess sometimes it's easier being alone.

Keep it together, Alex. You're strong now. No one lets you down now. You're alone and you are strong and you don't need anyone to make you happy. Stay focused. In two months you will be gone and these people will be stuck in this ugly town in their boxed lives running in circles like chickens with their heads cut off.

I'd rather hate the world and have the world hate me than be tricked by it, love it, and be hurt by it.

People live to watch you cry.