Last night.

Last night was a scary one. I could not breathe and I woke up after having a dream that a man that was angel was following me. And I was at this hospital after being hit by a car. And someone was visiting me and there was this man standing behind my friend just staring at me and smiling. And he was going to take me away and I was so scared and my head was all bandaged up. And I woke up thinking I'd see this man in my room. I felt dizzy and the room was spinning. By 5 am, I was crying in pain with my mother saying "I told you so." I'd die for some vicodin but I'm not able to have any.

This just makes me so angry. When he was sick, I was first in line to run to the store and get him anything to make him feel better. I was first to give up medication I needed because he had a sore throat. And now I'm sick. Visibly and he heard me crying on the phone. And he could give a shit less. And this is how the world works. People are selfish and cruel and heartless.

Now I'm laying in bed. Starving. I can't move and I tear every time I swallow. Who is going to bring me soup. Who is going to bring me cough drops or a muscle relaxer. That's right. No one.