Pointless.

Well, after a long drive to the train station, and after a bunch of "Man you are such an amazing girl. I don't know what happened between us. You are so wonderful and beautiful"'s I realized that this ride was completely pointless.

Then I showed him where I worked and we pulled over to see the city skyline across the Hudson. "Let's go for a walk" He said. I knew where this was going. "Lets get back in the car. It's getting late."

Then a "I really want to kiss you." And I asked if he was seeing anyone, in which he replied he was. I then turned the other way and declined. "I hope to see you soon again."

Right. Fun. I'm tired of being someone's fun and that's it. Too bad he was incredibly adorable and successful. But, it is what it is. I'm glad that we could at least be sort of friends and I did have a good night with him.

I just really need to be alone right now. For myself. I really hope I don't meet anyone that will make me think otherwise because I have the worst flaw for falling for someone as soon as they tell me I'm beautiful. I need to focus on school. My last semester! And working better. And last but not least this music duo with Trevor, which couldnt make me happier, because I can actually be friends with him. I just hope it remains that way. I hope things don't get complicated. And as surprised as I am to say it, I hope he doesnt become a friend that I truely care and love and then has feelings for me. Because I've had too many friendships ruined to that and this is one I definitely care about keeping around. I would never want to hurt him and I know how I am. I don't ever go backwards. He is a great person and I know we can smoosh our creative abilities together and make something great.

Anyways. I'm babbling. I need to study. This week will be hectic. Back in the dating world just so I can meet new faces and replace old ones that are a bad influence and speak badly about me beneath their breaths. Date with Dave on Friday should be cute. Seeing Stefan and taking him to Loop on Wednesday should also be fun. I'm slowly warming up to him. Then seeing this guy on Saturday that my friend is setting me up with. Should be interesting. I just love meeting new people. And learning new things. I'm in no mood to settle down and fall for anyone. I fell for someone amazing and it was what it was. And I don't think I'll find someone like him again, so I'll stick to what I do best. Meeting and Deleting.

Sadie is observing the stars on my ceiling. I wonder if she can find the big dipper.

Man I love this dog.

beauty supreme.
Yeah, you were right about me.
But can I get myself out from underneath
This guilt that will crush me
and in the choir I saw our sad Messiah.
He was bored and tired of my laments.
Said, "I died for you one time, but never again"
Never again, never again.

Well I love you so much, but do me a favor baby, don't reply.
because I can dish it out, but I can't take it.

Well take me, take me back to your bed
I love you so much that it hurts my head
Say I don't mind you under my skin
I'll let the bad parts in, the bad parts in
When we were made we were set apart
Life is a test and I get bad marks
Now some saint got the job of writing down my sins
The storm is coming, the storm is coming in