Irony.

"Please be there for me when I come home in October."

Erik is finally home from London at Oxford graduated. I am so proud of him. Top of his class. As tough as it was for me, it was a good decision for him to go to London to finish school. He had too many distractions here. Mainly me. His mom got him a brand new Jag of course. I couldn't help but laugh. Anyways. Hes always wanted me. Since I was 15. Perfect dream guy. Smart. Gorgeous. Rich. Successful. Sweet. Talented. I mean, you name it. And Ive always had a boyfriend. So we remained friends. Then best friends. Then the entire stunt with Chris happened and it drove him insane and he had to leave because he couldnt stand me being so hurt over someone so shitty.

And so he's back. And I'm single. And...It doesn't even matter. Because I'm sick. And I don't know when or if I'll get better.

He came over today and laid with me in bed and I cried and apologized a million times for not choosing him and for ruining everything. And he held me and I remembered why I've always loved him.

Since I'll obviously be in bed on Halloween weekend, he even said he'd skip his first halloween back here to lay in bed with me and watch movies all night. Seriously, a sweet heart.


Regardless, I'm scared. Very scared. Seeing blood every time I cough is something I will have to get used to.