So apparently, Erik hasn't been as honest as he claims he is. But, I can't say I didn't see it coming. I am an idiot. What confuses me the most is how he thought he'd get away with it knowing my good friend is his bass player. Like he wanted me to know.
Going to clear my head for a bit.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
I'm drunk.
And I miss you.
Not fair.
I wish we could be friends. Bubut we can't. and i thank you for ignoring me. as much as it hurts. as much as i wantt to kick and scream.
thank you.
but i do miss you.
Not fair.
I wish we could be friends. Bubut we can't. and i thank you for ignoring me. as much as it hurts. as much as i wantt to kick and scream.
thank you.
but i do miss you.
Secrets hidden.
Why are you always undone?
You lurk in the darkest corners
Awaiting some heavenly ascension
You know you won't find any liquor
Or that stuff your friend does
But c'mon, we've all had our stumbles
And some nights it almost feels like love
It feels like love
Now, now, now
It feels like love
You lurk in the darkest corners
Awaiting some heavenly ascension
You know you won't find any liquor
Or that stuff your friend does
But c'mon, we've all had our stumbles
And some nights it almost feels like love
It feels like love
Now, now, now
It feels like love
Song writing.
Dialogue with adam after informing him about my crush on the copy machine...
Adam: Wow. You know what? You just tapped into an amazing song concept. For you. I really think you should write a song based around that concept.
Me: I'm on it!
Adam: use it as a metaphor for how no guy is what you want...and how this copy machine is more appealing to you at times
Me: haha sounds like a z100 song
Adam: there ya go
Me: i dont want the boys named andy or bobby or dean. i just want the copy, the copy maaachiiiine.
Adam: hahaha
Adam: Wow. You know what? You just tapped into an amazing song concept. For you. I really think you should write a song based around that concept.
Me: I'm on it!
Adam: use it as a metaphor for how no guy is what you want...and how this copy machine is more appealing to you at times
Me: haha sounds like a z100 song
Adam: there ya go
Me: i dont want the boys named andy or bobby or dean. i just want the copy, the copy maaachiiiine.
Adam: hahaha
Proof of my Oddness
I love my job's copy machine.
It is so cute.
It makes little noises when it spits out paper as though it's so happy to have assisted you on your copying assignment.
And then, to allign all the pages together, it jiggles a little, making the paper fall into place.
How freaking cute.
I giggle to myself as I wait for the job to be done.
Thatta, boy.
I wanna attach a fury tail and ears on it. Aw.
It is so cute.
It makes little noises when it spits out paper as though it's so happy to have assisted you on your copying assignment.
And then, to allign all the pages together, it jiggles a little, making the paper fall into place.
How freaking cute.
I giggle to myself as I wait for the job to be done.
Thatta, boy.
I wanna attach a fury tail and ears on it. Aw.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
I wish you nothing but the worst. Nothing more. Nothing less.
It's raining. I miss him. A lot. I hate everyone in this fucking town. Their eyes and their grimaces. On my back. Little spies. Judging.
Hate this stupid town. And the towns surrounding it. And the people infesting it.
If I hadn't worked so hard to get to where I am, I'd drop it all for him. Go on tour with him. Swallow anger as every stupid girl hangs their hungry arms around his neck. They make me sick. He's such a beautiful person that it's haunting. How could they/whomever create such a perfect individual is mind boggling. But it's life. I get thrown this perfect bait and I'm hooked. Man, that was corny.
I don't want to screw this up. I don't. But I'm scared as hell. He could destroy me. Worse than Chris did. Much worse.
I enjoy being on my own too much right now and I want to keep it that way. I don't want to depend on someone and trust that someone will be there for me. We all saw what happened last time I did that.
Fuck people.
Seriously fuck you.
I am much better than this. You dont touch the stove twice after you've been burnt. I was an idiot. It won't happen again.
When I can trust that Erik will stay. When he's done touring. When he's done with all the promotions. The recording. The interviews. The fame. I'll be there in the end and I'll be ready. Until then, I'll think of him endlessly.
Hate this stupid town. And the towns surrounding it. And the people infesting it.
If I hadn't worked so hard to get to where I am, I'd drop it all for him. Go on tour with him. Swallow anger as every stupid girl hangs their hungry arms around his neck. They make me sick. He's such a beautiful person that it's haunting. How could they/whomever create such a perfect individual is mind boggling. But it's life. I get thrown this perfect bait and I'm hooked. Man, that was corny.
I don't want to screw this up. I don't. But I'm scared as hell. He could destroy me. Worse than Chris did. Much worse.
I enjoy being on my own too much right now and I want to keep it that way. I don't want to depend on someone and trust that someone will be there for me. We all saw what happened last time I did that.
Fuck people.
Seriously fuck you.
I am much better than this. You dont touch the stove twice after you've been burnt. I was an idiot. It won't happen again.
When I can trust that Erik will stay. When he's done touring. When he's done with all the promotions. The recording. The interviews. The fame. I'll be there in the end and I'll be ready. Until then, I'll think of him endlessly.
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